The great purge continues both mentally and physically. While I was going through the garage I came across the wardrobe box where I was storing our heavy winter jackets, seemingly unnecessary in California. However remember the great snow of Sequoia.... I digress though. I found buried among the winter coats, Sam's chest x-ray's from his first 2 chest surgery's, six pairs of leather pants and a pashimie. ( see above pic of Sam and I at the Mardi Gras party I am wearing said leather pants and the pashimie) Now the x-rays were fun to think about since Sam has come so far it is like the surgery never happened, yet it was fitting they were found on our anniversary considering he had one on the 3 operations a month after we were married. The six pairs of leather pants I have to admit were all mine before kids. I know how many pairs of leather pants does one girl need and am I the kinda girl that would wear leather pants? The answer is yes ! To be fair 3 of the 6 were suede pairs black, brown and tan and I wore them a lot with sweaters in Montana where leather is big and the weather is cold. Two of the 6 were I admit wild moments in black and burgundy I wore in the clubs of Milwaukee, Montana and Seattle, to be fair I was 21-23 and I thought they made fashion sense at the time :)
Happily despite my recent weight gain ( the house and I are both on a diet) They all still fit. All of the featured pictures of Jenny, Chad,Sam and I are just a few of the good times I had in those leather pants :) Yes on a side note I am the palest white girl ever hahahahaha Happily however I have come to my senses and parted ways with the leather pants; ok ,ok I kept 2 pairs the black and brown suede to wear with sweaters in Germany. One of the pairs of pants I wore out several times while Sam and I were dating so this is also fitting that they were found on our anniversary.
I found the box that had the cards from our wedding, an old high school yearbook and a side note on a paper was slipped in there about various questions we were asked in High school. One of the questions was about our clothes and hair. I had written that I had hoped I would have at least 2 different hairstyles....whew accomplished that haahahhaha. Hopefully the leather pants won't be held against me. I can't believe I am posting the pictures though that is even funnier!
( playing song "Realized" Colbie Cailat)
Now when going through papers I found My favorite picture of Sam and T ever !!! I mean a classic picture that makes me smile every time no matter what. The picture is when Sam and I were in Seattle with T it was shortly after Sam and I started dating. Sam and T look so much alike and little T is smiling and happy and so cute. Right now T is going through large struggles with his bi polar which of course is taking it's toll on all of us as a family there are days we feel ripped apart by his bi polar and sad , frustrated, anguished with the whole process and how it effects everyone day in and day out. Especially pointed is how right now all Sam and I want is our old T back, happy and focused. This is the old and the new all mingled in we want T to grow and be a "normal" 10 year old and like any parent have bits of our little T in there. With bipolar there is a great deal of pain at times emotional pain at watching someone you love go through a really rough time just trying to live everyday things. As I said this is a great purge getting rid of all our old baggage to get ready for our new adventure. When I look at this old picture I see T for who he is not T with bipolar. T with a wide open future fun carefree adventures ahead I can't help but be filled with hope because of the happiness in both their eyes. I am glad I find these little reminders when I need them most. It in a way reminds me of all the positive potential in this world. I think each of us needs that reminder from time to time. No matter what the present we all had a fresh start at some time and we can look back on this to get perspective for the future. I am going to hope still for our T that the future is full of positive things and we can overcome all the baggage accumulated in between. If the house, my soul and our family can loose the baggage and start fresh overseas then why not T too?
So go look at those papers writings or pictures that make you smile and think of the clean slate that awaits us all every morning...... a good song to listen to would be "Unwritten" by Natasha Bedingfield
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