I love to travel, I love to fly, however in today's climate I find both of these challenged.
I hadn't traveled anywhere in 6 months. With good reason kids, trying to settle in, and life in general. I also admit a part of me was still trying to accept I wasn't in Europe anymore, travel wasn't as exciting or as easy or expected. Sam is gone often and with the house it became easy to say I'm not ready to explore. I always find ways to explore where we are, to travel to every nook and cranny I can find. I want the kids to dive into where ever we are, I want them to learn about many places and live life to the fullest. I want them to know the world is a large place and they should go and see it, explore and meet new people . I do believe we see the world differently after we travel in it. The military takes us places we might not travel to we should take the opportunity and explore. I have seen amazing things in my travels I look forward to finding more and seeing more. I might just take a boat or a car to get there.
I flew on delta to NYC, every time I fly Delta I have some interesting experience that makes me wonder what I was thinking.... and I love to fly. Well the flight to NYC went well, with out incident. I actually felt lucky to have a row to myself, I almost didn't want to tell Sam who is usually squished into a tiny seat. When I landed Sam came to pick me up ( his flight came in earlier than mine) I told him about the flight and asked if he was hungry. Sam being a platinum member from all of his work travel told me he was upgraded to first class...... well I guess he had enough leg room.
Coming back from NYC was when it got interesting. I made it to the airport, which JFK is interesting. For an airport that large in a city that sees that many flights they really need to get their act together. I wanted to check my carry on suitcase, NO was my answer. I was concerned it had barley fit in the overhead bin coming and now I had treasures in it for the kids from NYC. I asked the check in clerk, I fit it into the bag sizer at the counter.... I undressed to get through security.. I found some coffee I was the only customer at 4 am and I told them 4 times I needed decaf ( I get migraines from caffeine) The coffee tasted odd and the cup didn't have the markings of caffeine free I was skeptical.....
I waited at the gate... and check the bag in the sizer again.... I asked the gate attendant to gate check it.... NO..... I waited to board the plane. I felt off I knew something wasn't right. I like window seats I love to look out the window I always book my seat ahead. I asked the check in clerk when I arrived in NYC if I had window seats for all my flights..... I walked down the aisle to board and the flight attendant mentioned she thought my bag was to big.... I asked for a gate check.... NO... I got to my seat..... They put me in the middle seat !!!!! Trying to recover from that I started to put my bag in the overhead bin.... I knew it wasn't going to fit despite putting it in the sizer's..... it didn't fit. I was standing on my seat so I wouldn't block the aisle.... I was hot and frustrated and getting a migraine ( it wasn't decaf) The flight attendant came over to "help" and this is where it went awry.....
The flight attendant grabbed my bag told me I would have to take things out and unzipped the front pocket...... she reached inside and pulled..... Now imagine those cans of flying silly snakes that comedians have..... yeah.... Only instead of a silly snake she pulled all of my dirty laundry from the trip..... Oh yes My panties were flying all over the aisle silk pj's and clothes strewn about the cabin..... I am trying not to swear I am turning fire engine red as a gentleman 3 rows up hands my 2 pairs of my panties..... once I had my things collected I was trying to stuff them in my purse... why ? The flight attendant took my bag put it in the bin and left me to pick up the clothes she flung all over the plane. Finally another flight attendant comes over and hands me a plastic Delta bag. I get settled about ready to swear like no sailor could; when I turn and see a long line of passengers staring at me. I don't think I could have turned any redder, I apologized for holding the line up and mumbled something about my seat and my panties and being mortified. The person with the window seat I was suppose to have sat down and struck up a conversation with me as if nothing were going on, and we were sitting in a park . She did ask if I was alright, and then she turned and put her hands on me like a healer. I was a bit taken aback, however before I could utter a word or squirm away the woman started to pray. I mean pray like she were at a revival. In the loudest voice she could muster she said " Jesus help this woman to feel loved and have a safe flight protect us from the evil around us......." Oh yes , the woman prayed on me. Now I appreciate the sentiment, however I was already the topic of conversation for 10 rows due to my panties, pj's and bras being scattered I really didn't need anymore conversation starters. Then she stopped turned and started reading a magazine as if nothing had happened.
I now have a migraine and three different men have touched my panties, and I am trying to sleep.... when the person in the aisle seat arrives. I don't mean to be unkind I really don't. This woman was larger and she had an aroma that was not pleasant and she lifted the arm rest to sit down and squished me. The flight attendant rushes over ( they have to love our row) and informs her if she can't get the seat belt around her she has to buy 2 seats. It is a full flight and there are already 2 people in the row with her where did this flight attendant plan on putting her ? The woman was upset and kept shoving me over to make more room. Finally, thankfully, the plane started to taxi. It was only to Atlanta, it was slightly more than an hour.... but it was a long flight.
I now have a full migraine, the larger woman stole my cookie, and the praying woman wouldn't let me off the plane before she very loudly prayed on me again. I collected my bag of panties and bras and received smiles from the rows around me as I tried to get off the plane..... The flight attendant came back..... The flight was continuing on to San Antonio so I had to leave my bag on board. What ? I asked her why I had to go but my bag had to stay ? I mean doesn't this violate their rules of always staying with your bag ? The other people continuing on where as excited about this idea as I was. I exited the plane with no bag.... and a migraine... in a bright noisy airport at 6:30 am.
I came back hoping to get the window seat for the longer flight to Texas......
I had a guy who was possibly tech support to the planet next to me in the window seat...... spilling his endless supply of cord all over my lap and actually placing small electrical things in my lap..... Then the larger woman on the aisle returned. I pleaded with the guy in the window seat to trade with me...... The flight attendant moved the larger woman to an empty row.... I pleaded with the window guy to trade seats..... I am going to go out on a limb and stereo type for a moment ... don't guys like aisle seats ? He told me he had to have a window when he flew he was to nervous if he couldn't see. Ok I would cave to his fear of flying. at least I could move to the aisle. I set my coat in the middle seat to buckle my seat belt and while I was slightly bent over the tech guy dumped my coat on my head. I snapped up and said excuse me why are you moving my coat. he said " that isn't your seat you can't put anything in it" I tried not to go postal I mean it would be bad if I was arrested in the airport in Atlanta..... This guy had all kinds of electrical devices on the middle seat and his cords, I set me coat down for a few seconds to put my seat belt on. Then he closed the window when the flight took off ! WHAT ! I asked him why after all he had to "see" when flying. I really wanted to act like a 4 year old and stick my tongue out or shove him out of the seat.... but I refrained. He said he like to control the window shade. So I did the mature thing and told him that the middle seat was technically mine and he couldn't put his stuff in it. Not my proudest moment but hey, I had little pride after my panties were like confetti in a plane. It was a long flight home and I thought, I love to fly yet, I want to cry my head hurts, my body hurts, and I think people are crazy. I am taking a boat on my next trip.
Traveling is always full of adventure... I wouldn't change a thing.... ok I would have the window seat.
No comments:
Post a Comment