Whole lot of information

Some days we are on an endless hamster wheel the routine...... other days we get hit with so much information we don't know where to start to process. There are times I wish the information had come oh say a week earlier when I could have really used the insight, or perhaps I even shudder to think it but there are some pieces of information we just wish we hadn't received. Today was a day with a whole lot of information, which let's face it if it were a slow day we wouldn't be here together. H has a camp this week a science/reading camp. H is enjoying this immensely and it is a special treat because only 2 students from his school were selected to attend and it is by invitation only. I am one proud Mom, however this camp is 25 miles on the far side of town, it is only 4 hours a day and smack in the middle of the day right through downtown traffic. With traffic it is an hour each way. Like all things in life there is a beautiful gift hidden in some murky mess.

I feel like I am driving and driving and driving...... while I love to drive I am also on the hamster wheel of the same route. The other Mom & I are splitting weeks. I have her daughter this week to drive and she will take H next week since I will be on a road trip ( more on that later) H & his friend have chatted and it is going well our car pooling. H was disappointed to learn that carpool did not mean he was going swimming at some cool new pool. M likes country music, H likes classical so we listen to country in the morning, which is a new experience for all of us and classic in the afternoon. I know this seems to be a dull story however I assure you it is coming to the point. Like those dull days that suddenly are filled with information.

It started with the few pages of reading I accomplished in the book Eat ,Pray, Love ( I told you that there would be fabulous peral coming from there) I read a part about soul mates and their legitimacy, and purpose. It was very interesting and I had closure in a thought I had let rest for a long time. Although I find I'm angry reading India, I can tell you there will be a post on that.

Then I rush home to get my errands run grocery shopping to prepare for my trip next week. My Mom had a long list of other errands and I realized my day had changed shape in an instant..... reminding me that sometimes the best laid plans are often cast aside for just as necessary jobs. This is a good reminder for me the control freak to go and change, adapt and not be frustrated the day didn't come out in my image of what is should have been. It was productive and useful just the same.

Contractor woes..... and the realization that a life lesson has been learned and that I KNOW exactly what to do next time and how to handle the road ahead.

Frustration with T again over the usual suspects..... perhaps this year my new years resolution should be to get off that hamster wheel all together and let the chips fall where they might. I know this will be the mount Everest of challenges and the rock I will beat my head against until the end. I have not accepted the life lesson in this area yet. That information in the middle of a random Wednesday is not always welcome.

Then I leave to get H & his friend from camp ( in Siberia) We are driving home and H & M are chatting away about their day and the various break downs of what happened what they learned who liked what.... the type of chatter you would expect. When out of the blue I hear a phrase that nearly causes me to stop but doesn't exactly shock me. H out of the blue says " M's brother is in jail Mom" and H proceeds to turn to M and ask her what he did to get there and how she feels about it. I turn to H and say " H you don't always like it when people question you about T being in the hospital you need to realize that M might not want to talk about it here in the car" Now folks here is where a small life lesson trickled into the day and whole lot of information was packed into a tiny amount of information. M says matter of fact to me in the most even voice " Oh no I am fine with it we talk about it all the time I don't mind talking about it." and H & M chatter on as if the topic of a 16 year old in Juvenile hall was normal. I am not judging I understand completely while T doesn't go to "jail" he has frequent hospitalizations under mental health circumstances, now this doesn't make any of us uncomfortable but it will make those around you squirm faster than anything. I am actually pleased that is a tough thing for a small kid to deal with and it doesn't escape me that H has difficult things in his life also. Isn't that what friends are for a safe place to be yourself and to talk to be there for each other. I would hope H could talk about our situations with as much ease it is better to get it all out right ?

M proceeded to tell me she misses NC where they lived before ( her Dad is also in the Air Force) They in her words " Had to move here because of my brothers problems" I didn't say much and she repeated " We were sent to Texas on purpose" Well now there again is just a big motuhful of information packed in a small package.

The longer we live here in Texas the more I get to know those around me in my military community. I can tell you most but not all are sent here for "humanitarian" reasons and we all came here because of some story. It is not your typical place. San Antonio has 7 bases 2 major hospitals and a huge collective pool of military resources, it is a large city, and it has a lot of administrative purposes as well. This is not an earth shattering revelation many families try to come here get sent here and stay here for all of those reasons.

I have lived here for a year the bizarre thing is I can't tell you the day we came here, for me that is odd I can usually tell you the day I moved somewhere. The CA-Germany-TX triangle of a year the year of disaster has erased my memory. I actually threw away the calendar last December as if I could just toss the whole year away like it never happened. I wasn't thrilled about coming here but I wasn't against it either. I knew we had no other option we were "sent here on purpose" too. Many here were and yet in this strange place we all coalesce and find our way.

There are strong communities here for many reasons. San Antonio is one of the most military friendly cities I have ever been to the local population embraces us with a warmth that is so wonderful. The "unique" families have a network, and there are many spouses I have met who like me live on the "fringe" ..... meaning we aren't your typical run of the mill Military spouse. Like a secret underground club we hold each other up we make things run and we fight for what we need.

I don't know M's Mom very well and we don't see each other socially. I know she is busy she has 4 kids to and is pregnant. What I can tell you is even though M wasn't one of H's best friends in school they have more in common than not. I have respect for this family that has been exiled like me to TX. Sometimes even if we believe it and live it .... a reminder on a random Wednesday of " Don't judge a book by it's cover" is an excellent piece of information.

I also think that it is good to talk about those things that make others cringe because then it really doesn't fester and become a mountain of frustration.