Finding a way

I have been trying all day to find just the right words, to describe the mixture of emotions, in just the right poetic way. Some days words flow so easily off of my tongue and other days I struggle to find a way to condense the amount of thoughts to share. I am in a murky state right now and to relay the ups and downs of my days would be tedious and verbose.

I have friends who like me are in trails with 2 year olds. We are all living the terrible 2's right now. That fabulous point where we think if this "phase" last one more day we might just have to be committed. P & S have different emerging independence interest. Right now the joint effort of taking every toy they own out everyday is making me crazy, P's insistence on wearing a swimsuit and sandals everyday...despite the six inches of snow and freezing temperatures.  Don't worry he does this only at home. S insists on having her 2 cuddly blankets everywhere...despite my firm rule of no toys and no blankets at the table. But really talk to any mother of a 2 year old and you will hear the same stories. Trying to remember that we want our children to have independent thoughts is really the lesson we are all working on.

Jobs, Money, the economy... a hot topic we all worry discuss and deal with daily. I choose to be a military wife, I had my eyes open I knew what it meant. There are days however that I wonder what more will we bear. Many friends ask if I am tired of the deployments and TDY's if that life has grown thin. No that is part of the package deal. I can't believe how different the branches are. I am having more trouble being an Air Force wife/ family at an Army base. The phrase never mess with a Mom's kids....I can handle the ambiguity of military life, well actually our family is "comfortable" with that level of ambiguity. The moving the deployments, the unknown of a new base or a new duty. What becomes the issue is when on top of all of this ambiguity they pile uncertainty and road blocks. I have found the Army to have a state of total disorganization here, and the medical "assistance" for my son is appalling. Since last year May we have lived with we may move we may not..... and just when we arrived it was will they let us stay what are they doing.... and now it has moved to when are they sending us back and why did they put us in this mess and why did they force us to jeopardize our son's care.....

I was reading a friend's blog.... and she said when she moved overseas ( 20 years ago) she was glad that they didn't have blogging because hers would have been a dark place. It took her a long time to adjust. I sometimes feel like I can relate. I am a happy person who finds joy in so many things in so many places and positive thing in even the darkest places. But, I have to say it is a challenge to not be dark.

We are all struggling in some way. I have many blessing to count , things to be grateful for and things that are beautiful and worthy of praise. One of the things I always found so interesting about Anthropology, is that the more it seems we are different the more we are alike. It is one of the reasons I think Shakespeare is still relevant today, and still one of our classic reverend writers. Shakespeare understood people on an emotional level he understood that the same basic emotions are what bind us all together. We can all relate to the emotions depicted on some level either we have felt them or witnessed them... but we all understand them in a universal language that transcends time. Jane Austen knew this also she captured the human emotion the ties that bind.

When I feel bogged down by my own murky path I remember that each person I know is going through something. I have friends with two year olds, friends who worry about finding jobs, friends who have lost money and are worried, friends who have health issues for themselves or their family some struggle to find what someone needs. Friends who are working on dreams that seem far away. Friends who are happy, doing well in their marriage or doing poor, friends who worry about what their friends or family are going through. We are all in this together.  When we feel like retreat we need to reach out, we all need to know that we are here fighting together. Sometimes we get lost in the day to day and forget to call or write, but we are all thinking about each other in little ways everyday. To all of you I send my love and thanks. Through each other we find strength and inspiration whether it is a dark or sunny day even if we feel like the world is on fire. Please be sure to catch the blogs over on my "other blogs" section for more stories.