Some of us are lucky enough to have the storybook marriage where everyday is wedded bliss. Some of us have our ups and downs and some of us view our marriages as something that is a process we are surviving.
I do not judge any. All are unique and should be respected for what they are. Sometimes I have read about couples who couldn't imagine breathing without the other's presence, or others who gain their strength from a partner, those who acknowledge they are better for their marriage.
Some anniversaries I have thought our marriage is a dream others I have thought what do I know about love? Anyone will tell you that wether being a couple comes natural or a struggle, wether you have been married for a year, six months or 25 years; marriage is an evolutionary journey. Some couples make it some don't, some change some don't.
There are times it is 40/60 and others it is 80/20. I know in a military community we all know but don't discuss the elephant in the room; the statistics are staggering for divorce. The Air Force at one point touted a 70% divorce rate.
Some years are easy others aren't but at the end of the day when we lay our head on our pillow and we look back at it all if we smile then it was worth it. I know this last anniversary with Sam ( one of the few we have actually been together in the same place) was a different one.
Our life was in the air we didn't know if we were coming or going and the shock of the process of moving overseas was at it's peak. Sam had only been back from Iraq for a month and he still was adjusting to being here instead of there. Was it filled with stars in your eyes romance and positive reflection.... not really. Does this mean it had any less significance or meaning no....
I think the days between the anniversaries are what the substance of the marriage is made of. Sam and I have been through so much in our married lives and we are still here still together still in love and still moving forward.
Some days we marvel at how lucky we are and how wonderful each of us is, other days we have our head buried in the "wind" just trying to muddle through.
Stay with me I have a point... when you are in a time of change or evolution you don't always want to hear how blissfully perfect other's married lives are. This is especially true if they are in similar circumstances as you and your spouse maybe but they are handling it better. Or so it would seem.
I once heard 2 quotes I think ring true.... one is " what is on the outside could just be a show, what is in the home is real" meaning what we project may not always be the reality...and one of my favorites...which holds optimism within it's words something I always like. " Being married is falling in love with the same person over and over".... I personally think this one puts a fine point on it all. Somedays are better than others and marriage ebbs and flows. I do know that no matter what Sam and I go through once we come out the other-side we are stronger for it..a bit wiser.
Now for the point of this very long post.... I was reading a post from another blogger about her own marriage of 21 years. I think this is the most real and honest account I have ever read about a marriage. I was so excited here is someone who loves her husband is in a good marriage and has been married awhile but is honest about it. Instead of sugar coating it all like we live in a dream world of perfection. I hope you enjoy this story as much as I did. It is full of all the things of great romance, truth, love, devotion,and a journey with a true love. so take a peek here at My Vintage Wedding Scrapbook
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