Days of arguing follow as Sam and I 2 very very very strong independent individuals jockey for control...... and that is really what all the angst is really about we each have to give up enough control to become a couple again...we know this we talk about it we laugh about it and yet every time we navigate through it.. the process is frustrating and rage inducing :)...although I have to say that now instead of maybe week of fighting it is hours so I guess our process has improved.
He comes home his home.... I have spent months pining for his return we are happy etc. things go smooth and I always give him a free pass for at least a week to sleep jet lag off etc. and adjust to a house of 4 kids and one guinea pig..... but then it is sooooo hard to not want to loose it over stuff.... silly stuff that in the grand scheme of things really don't matter. Like globs of tooth paste in the sink or dirty clothes strewn from one end of the house to the other... the decision making I go to "handle " it all and he wants to jump in.. yet how do you catch someone up on 8 months of history in a matter of minutes while the 5 year old is screaming.....
the whole thing is maddening.... and maybe it isn't that hard to condense I have kept notes for the last week anxiously waiting to come and blog and yet as I sit and write I look at all my notes important at that moment and think... I'm past that... we took care of that check check.... so maybe it doesn't matter anymore all the angst and frustration has melted away and maybe it isn't hat bad after all......
although my personal favorite was the night he said " I am the man of the house I will be in charge"... yeah some real primal Fred Flinstone survival stuff surfaced there... 2 alpha dogs in a gridlock...... to be fair before I went into a total rage I did give him a chance to clarify exactly what that statement was meant as........ poor guy for months he has been hanging with a bunch of guys in a war zone I'll give him time to brush up on his diplomacy/home communication skills......:) it is almost comical now
but we agree he has to make decisions and start helping and pick up his laundry...... and I have to give over stuff to do and not freak out about stuff...clutter.... it is reallllllllllly hard though
I being of the clutter free persuasion and he being of the let me throw it all anywhere persuasion...... and-Sometimes I worry to much or take myself to seriously and Sam is not that he makes me laugh even if he makes me crazy.....
my wish for the day is some of the stuff that he just dumped here on my desk... that was on it's way to the office will find it's way there.... I want my space back hahahahahah and the dirty clothes....
all in all I am overwhelmingly happy he is home here and can be a part of everything ... my goal is to stop being it all and let him do some :)it's hard though to go from calling the shots to sharing your space in 10 seconds flat.....
No comments:
Post a Comment