The Last Lecture

well as  I mentioned I read the Last Lecture it was really nice I loved it a quick read I actually read it in about 3 days a month ago... but, am just getting to write about it now. the book is full of witty little comments and inspirations and is just a good book ... one of those universal reads....

so with out further adieu I will let the quotes flow  so to speak.

The Last Lecture by Randy Pausch

" If you have a question then find the answer"

" Play fair just because you are in the drivers seat doesn't mean you have to run people over"

" Have something to bring to the table, because it will make you more welcome"

" You've got to get the fundamentals down, because otherwise the fancy stuff is not going to work"

" If I work hard enough, there will be things I can do tomorrow that I can't do today"

the last 2 quotes I am especially trying to remember as I drudge through my Econ class.... blech....  just little thoughts for the day that are good to think about. catch you tomorrow... I have an Econ quiz to take....

How Awesome is that

OH OH it is here it is here !!!!!! Little S sassy girl LOVES and by LOVE I mean squeal's with absolute delight at touch and feel books........ and she has an eclectic collection ..... ( sometimes having a girl in a sea of boys is just a hoot)... so I discovered this touch and feel book... ( an article from a magazine in another Dr's office) called Touch the art and they add touch embellishments to famous paintings... there are 4 books in the series and I ordered them and ... Brush Mona Lisa Hair by Julie Appel just arrived and I had to crack it open and read it... ( right who is worse S or me) and holy cow is it wayyyyyyyy cool there is a patch of real hair on Mona Lisa to touch and the  the lace collar of  the laughing cavalier.... the pearl on  Girl with Pearl earing... and feathers to touch on the Sistine Madonna...... I may even find myself letting out a slight and quiet squeal of delight... oh S  little sassy girl is sooooooo going to love this book it is wayyyyyy cool !!!! I can't wait for the book  Feed Matisse's Fish comes or Make Van Gough's Bed..... I am so psyched..... it is wayyyyy more fun to read than my Econ book..... which I managed to get through chapter one while blogging...... and take the quiz  !!!!

I seriously need to get sleep I have a slew of Dr. apt's tomorrow... wish me luck... it maybe better now I'm armed with a cool book !

The Tale of the Trees.....

So it all began with a move to California.... the plotting the planning where to go what to see for we shall not pass this way again..... the family came to decide that sequoia was the place to be.... Sam not the one to plan or want to wander... Heather with wanderlust nomadic blood coursing through her veins 2 mischievous boys and the twins ready for anything... began to dream..... Then it happened the deployments the compromises ...... but before I begin the tale to be told I have to start with a race last summer Sam says.... " I'm going again let's go camping quick before I leave" with re arranging and last minute plans we decide to embark on a 9 hour journey to the redwoods because of all the things to see Sam says " I have to see the trees" so about 6 hours into the trip on the very windy highway one...Sam starts asking questions about the trees... a long conversation with "random Sam" comes to unfold and come to find out Sam wanted to see the sequoia's... not the redwoods...... we never made it to red woods but we did stop in the dark at Samuel P Taylor forest and we camped under the redwoods it was breath taking and wonderful..... we also caught some of Point Reyes national park...... so off to Iraq he went and we waited and waited and finally went to the sequoias 2 years in the making......... the waiting the excitement to see the trees... and so this brings us back to the tale at hand.......

THE TREES !!!!!!!

we decided to go memorial day weekend..... Sam almost didn't make it home..... that is another story.... so happy to have him along.. we had heard it was a 2 hour drive..... Myth number one busted it is really 4.......to the gate..... we made or reservations a loony thing you have to do her in CA because everything is always full... the company in charge messed it all up and 300 people had to be relocated to Kings canyon NP which in "above" sequoia they are 2 parks side by side..... Kings canyon is the farthest away...so after an all day drive...with a Heather packed car (bulging t the seams).. H cried out "I 'm squished !" to which a surprising mimic and cute little voice little 17 month old S mimicked " I squi"....... we arrived at the park at last...

Now we and by we I mean I spent all day packing... then the next morning we woke everyone up at 5 am to leave by 6 am... (6;30)... 3 times in one day while I was packing I asked my tech savvy husband to check his weather widget for the forecast he assured me with all certainty each and every time that it would be mid 70's possibly hitting 80....... well I packed our 4 kids accordingly because he assured me that this would be the case...... at 5 AM he wakes me and says " we could have a problem...scattered showers are predicted... but we should be fine" so into an already stuffed car I squeeze barley.......4 pairs of wellies aka rain boots and 4 rain coats....... 

now 3 days earlier in talking at H's t-ball game about the coming camping trip one of his teammates mom said they stopped camping because they always got rained out on memorial day weekend....... this is where I believe the first hex..aka jinx...aka...impending destiny first began......

so we arrive at the park 4 hours later all excited can't wait to camp explore etc...... to see that the temp outside is 40....it is misting and at the entrance to the park.....we see our campsite is 76 miles away on a winding park road through the mountains........ so we greet the ranger at the gate warmly...Sam is charming...... and we discover that it will take us 2 1/2 hours to get there because not only is it raining it is actually....... brace yourselves here SNOWING !!!!!! yes folks snow in CA....... ok so Houston we now have a problem....... 

we begin the drive through the park... T is car sick... H is squished and has to go  to the bathroom the twins are leading a revolt against the car seats they have now been in for 5 hours....and my mom aka Nan is still in shock over the snow..... all I have is shorts a few long pants sweatshirts and rain coats.......... and wow it is now 12:30 lunch time...........

so moving through the park we see fog.....rain...sleet...snow..... fog.....snow.....rain... and finally reach our campsite..which has someone else in it... a very cheerful ranger moves us to a new site with a great spot near the raging river a fallen tree and lots of rocks T & H are so excited they are beside themselves......... the twins are out of said seats but in the car because it is 32 degrees and raining/snowing/sleeting outside....

and so begins the tale of the trees....... after the move the lack of stove fuel ( Sam's other job...he forgot about)....the rain the cold we all decide tomorrow is another day......

Now mom...aka me ...knows what rain + Tent + little boys = mom sleeping in a puddle.....again my powers of clairvoyant seeing are amazing......... I decide to make a preemptive strike...."don't touch the sides of the tent" talk....... with nods repeat after me "don't touch the sides of the tent" talk I felt optimistic.......again let's review our math...

Rain + Tent + excited little boys= mom sleeping in a puddle

( I wonder if this could count as an equation for my econ class)

so later after changing 4 squirmy wiggly kids in a car that is packed to the gills....... I finally trod off to the tent in the cold dark wet night praying everyone remembered the "don't touch the side of the tent" talk...

alas despite my best efforts I sleep in a puddle...... T woke up 4 times just to tell me that the sound was the river..... in case I forgot... H woke up 5 times oddly 5 minutes after T finally went back to sleep to ask me why the floor was wet... he had to go potty..... where was S sleeping.. and could he go fishing... and could he have the marshmallows for breakfast since he couldn't have them that night....

and oddly S and P woke up 3 times a piece after the other 2 had fallen asleep to wiggle fuss and smack me in the face....... meanwhile Sam is sleeping soundly on the side of the tent with no puddle ...soundly sleeping how did I know this... because despite the raging conversation in the night with the 4 kids he was snoring through it all.......

and at 5 am H woke up to inform me it was morning... in case I missed that fact...and could he eat marshmallows for breakfast..since we didn't have a fire the night before (  this was just in case in my sleep deprived state I would completely loose my mind and allow him to have marshmallows for breakfast)...... then for good measure he awoke everyone else to tell them and ask 3 more times if I would let him have marshmallows for breakfast......

Day 200... ok Day 2 .... it is still raining..... fog has settled in........ we all dress in a car... eat quickly.. and drive off through the canyon to Grants grove to see the  Trees... the point of the trip...... we arrive at the grove it is 33 degrees.. foggy... snowing...... and 4 kids are dying to run...... S keeps losing her rain boots which by the way she adores with all her heart she hugs them and carries them everywhere...... P decides he hates hats... T & H want to know why they can't climb the trees and Sam is trying to paparazzi the Chinese tourist wearing robes and chanting near the trees........... did I mention the snow and fog....

lunch out..... 1 hour drive back...... our campsite ... fog rain/sleet....... and H still want to eat marshmallows for a meal...........

more changing in the car more rain... more "don't touch the side of the tent " talk...... more can I have marshmallows for dinner talk....... we manage to get a fire going... well Sam does..... the car becomes a kitchen...... the twins rip apart the packing and toss about clothes toys... stuff... etc.. with glee and delight......

Day  465....... rain.... snow...fog... trees...... 4 kids... don't touch the tent........marshmallows for breakfast mom? more fog rain trees...... 2 Junior ranger badges earned... 9000 smores later

so needless to say it was an adventure of an unusual nature... but we all made it we went home a day early.... we all survived it all fit in the car... we washed and dried and cleaned for 2 days..... afterwards.. and all the kids remember is having fun playing and seeing trees.... so this is all that really matters that they have a great memory of hanging out in the woods with us..... I know in a few years I will forget I slept in a puddle and froze my fingers :)

so we all loved seeing the trees they are beautiful I wish it had been sunny and  we could have seen more... the parks are gorgeous despite the fog and rain.... the rangers told us one week earlier it had been nearly 100 degrees and sunny..... again the rain jinx from the t-ball mom :)

but overall it was a grand adventure..... Sam says he is good for another year... but it is early in the season and I have a feeling more smore's are in my future.......

New Books

In the whirlwind that is me I am also reading books..... shocking I know I finished one and it was fantastic I am going to blog more on it tomorrow...well hopefully it is awesome

"The last Lecture" by Randy Pausch it is just a great book

and 

" The year of Living Biblically" by A.J. Jacobs 

this book drags in some places but overall it is comical witty and inspiring he is a regular guy trying to figure it out in a silly approach but in some ways the way we all think... it is awesome I will also blog more on it later but they are good

yes I am knitting to... I am 1/4 of the way done on the twins superhero capes.....

I have all the yarn for the magician hat

and I am more than 1/2 way on the crazy scrap wrap....

and a partridge in a pear tree....

Life Changes

As many of you know my uncle is battling renal cancer.... we recently learned it has moved to his lungs.....I hear through my family grapevine that he is optimistic and doing the things he loves to do. This makes me happy I love my uncle he is a great guy quiet a man of few words but you know he loves you. I wish I lived closer to be there to help to hang out and visit and just be there. it is hard to live so far away. My own struggles seem small compared to his and I have to say that has crossed my mind the  last few days while I have wallowed in my pity party. I have this tough class, a crazy family, 4 kids... and PMS..... bad combo I have gained some weight more than I want I have been depressed I have said goodbye to friends who have moved and others deploying..... I feel far away and down..... yet it is small in the big scheme of things and all things I can change.... I am not one given to open prayer or talking religion but I feel that lately I must nourish that part of my soul and share ... this is one of my favorite meditations from the Siddur Sim Shalom

" Facing Life Changes

Help me, O God, To find still moments,

Quiet spaces within which to refresh my soul:

Cease my questions, my inner debates,

And let me meditate on Your goodness.

Help me, O God, to nurture my courage,

Recalling moments of strength,

Remembering days of fortitude,

The certainty of your regard.

Help me, O God, to grasp changed visions,

 Filmy curtains to blur my unhappiness

And wrap my tears with radiance,

Your hand upon my face.

Help me, O God, to turn to the light,

Warmed face and fingers outstretched,

Alive, alive in your sight.

-Debbie Pearlman"

I think all of us can relate..... and Uncle Bob I say a special prayer for you and Aunt Gale everyday... if anyone has the spirit to kick this it is you.

And Jenny.. who gets it and my crazy Homily dreams :)

Already behind

Well time is just flying by and I rarely get a  moment to blog... Sam is a computer hog sharing spaces...... sharing spaces....... moving on let's see in the last week I have not returned far to many phone calls I have been snowed (yes snow in California) upon... rained upon, and have plunged  head first into a 3 week economics ( ew ew ewwww) class a 100 level class that I avoided taking for my whole life in order to finally have them release my MBA diploma.... yes I graduated but they are holding the diploma hostage till I complete a 100 level econ class...... I never took in under grad work... despite the fact I got an A in the graduate level econ class......... yes the logic of it all escapes me but it is a battle I have been fighting for now 3 years and have come to the conclusion it is one I won't win so I am taking the econ in a 3 week online class.... as a matter of fact I am suppose to be taking my chapter one quiz right now but I am so happily procrastinating it here online...... so let's start with the other stuff I have neglected

1st..... HAPPY BIRTHDAY !!!!!!  to Andrea who had her b-day on the 24th I was being rained on and snowed on in the back woods of sequoia national park when it came and due to the time change and my 4 little mess makers I still have not called this awesome friend to say HAPPY BIRTHDAY !!!!!! I love you dearly and will call soon !

2nd My cousin Sarah graduated a few weeks ago something I just found out yesterday CONGRATULATIONS !!!!!!!!! I know you will have a very successful future ! way to go !!!!!

3rd. Pauline forgive me for I have sinned...... it has been well over a month since A I was going to mail out the pic cd and call you back I am shameful and wrong... I hope ya still love me and I will call this week.....

Chad yes the cd is coming... it is here with Pauline and I am awful.. I am anxious to hear the latest on the record....

ok and to all those I love and miss I willl calllllll soon I promise.. 

oh Rachael Riley is beautiful and I will get this package mailed off before that new baby can walk :)

love to you all!!!!!!

Sharing Space....

In my effort to condense and yet blog my soul I will start here... because this is the root of the thorny issues of reintroduction an emotional issues start here. What is wrong with me I ask myself over and over again in the days after Sam's return I should be happy and ecstatic and joyful instead I am moody irritable and have an uncontrollable urge to scream shout and lunge.

 Days of arguing follow as Sam and I 2 very very very strong independent individuals jockey for control...... and that is really what all the angst is really about we each have to give up enough control to become a couple again...we know this we talk about it we laugh about it and yet every time we navigate through it.. the process is frustrating  and rage inducing :)...although I have to say that now instead of maybe week of fighting it is hours so I guess our process has improved. 

He comes home his home.... I have spent months pining for his return we are happy etc. things go smooth and I always give him a free pass for at least a week to sleep jet lag off etc. and adjust to a house of 4 kids and one guinea pig..... but then it is sooooo hard to not want to loose it over stuff.... silly stuff that in the grand scheme of things really don't matter. Like globs of tooth paste in the sink or dirty clothes strewn from one end of the house to the other... the decision making I go to "handle " it all and he wants to jump in.. yet how do you catch someone up on 8 months of history in a matter of minutes while the 5 year old is screaming.....

the whole thing is maddening.... and maybe it isn't that hard to condense I have kept notes for the last week anxiously waiting to come and blog and yet as I sit and write I look at all my notes important at that moment and think... I'm past that... we took care of that check check.... so maybe it doesn't matter anymore all the angst and frustration has melted away and maybe it isn't hat bad after all......

although my personal favorite was the night he said " I am the man of the house I will be in charge"... yeah some real primal Fred Flinstone survival stuff surfaced there... 2 alpha dogs in a gridlock...... to be fair before I went into a total rage I did give him a chance to clarify exactly what that statement was meant as........ poor guy for months he has been hanging with a bunch of guys in a war zone I'll give him time to brush up on his diplomacy/home communication skills......:) it is almost comical now

but we agree he has to make decisions and start helping and pick up his laundry...... and I have to give over stuff to do and not freak out about stuff...clutter.... it is reallllllllllly hard though

I being of the clutter free persuasion and he being of the let me throw it all anywhere persuasion...... and-Sometimes I worry to much or take myself to seriously and Sam is not that he makes me laugh even if he makes me crazy.....

my wish for the day is some of the stuff that he just dumped here on my desk... that was on it's way to the office will find it's way there.... I want my space back hahahahahah and the dirty clothes....

all in all I am overwhelmingly happy he is home here and can be a part of everything ... my goal is to stop being it all and let him do some :)it's hard though to go from calling the shots to sharing your space in 10 seconds flat.....

Condense.... Condense.......

This past week has been agony, happiness, frustration and the like. Filled with many epiphany's.... basically an emotional roller coaster. I could write a novel on this very subject. The last week of my life that is. With the freedom of a blog I may end up with one hahahhaha. I am struck with  a moment that happened in graduate school, Dr. Hayes my favorite professor was meeting with me before a power point project. Dr. always met with us to make sure it was ok before we did our presentations or papers to give us the time to correct anything and deliver the best product. It was one of the first power point presentations I had ever made and we had 5 minutes to deliver our information. I had 47 slides. Dr. Hayes was shocked I mean shocked and it took a lot to phase him......" Heather most students have 12 slides and you have 5 minutes that's it"  Apparently Dr. Hayes had never gotten a voice mail from me ... if he had he would have know I was famous for rambling on and leaving marathon messages.. that note hand written to people meant to be 3 sentences often ended up all over the card with extra paper... I am rarely at a loss for words but, somehow that moment was not the right moment to share that....... But me being me and grooving to my own beat I  did have to push the envelope a little and I told him " I'll talk really fast I know I can get through them I had timed myself and I account for talking faster if I was nervous." Little did he know that public speaking encouraged me it never made me nervous....... but again not for sharing at that moment. I had one day to condense 47 slide into 12..... Condensing is not my strong suit. Unless I am packing cars, bags or kids and I have my grandfather to thank for that amazing ability to fit 15 lbs of #$%^%^& into a 5 lb bag :) But I digress. The greatest lesson I learned from Graduate school was the lesson to condense or in the immortal  words of my 10th grade chemistry teacher KISS keep it simple stupid...... I did manage to cut it to 17 slide which was no small feat for me Dr. Hayes smiled I bent the rules a bit I had 12 slides of content the rest were bibliography etc. so I figured they didn't count really...... hahahahah So to bring this around I may have lots of little posts about this past week then it won't look as bad as I'm writing an epistle about my journey to re-introduce my husband to society.:)

Guess Who is Home ? !!!!!

After 20 ish odd hours of flights countless hours of flight and crossing the dateline......

SAM IS HOME !!!!!! his flight came in at midnight... tired but home !!!!!

this is excellent news he is home earlier than expected !!!  We are all excited it was very nice Mother's day "present".

Twins Siblings and other Mayhem

So this morning....... P & S were at it again.... they are typical siblings one second they are fighting over the same toy and yet in the next breath one or the other is patting or hugging the other. P was very distraught this morning after getting dressed, he didn't want to wear pants today...go figure.....so he is crying and laying on the floor and S comes up to him and starts to tickle him and she is giggling up a storm trying her hardest to make him laugh hovering over him gleefully cheerful and actually tickling him it was the cutest thing ever to watch. I couldn't help but smile and their team spirit.

yet not 5 minutes later we walk out to the front of the house and I am doing laundry in the laundry room and they are pulling and shoving at each other to get a toy out of the toy box screaming carrying on like some horrific scene from Jerry springer.....so I split them up and sorted them out......

I am now in the living room and a temporary truce had been reached.......

but then from the Laundry room I hear the sordid tale unfolding again... so I call out gently to both of them to report to mom front and center ....... P   the family comedian comes out of the laundry room with a huge smile on his face acting all sweet and innocent laughing and moving on to a new toy with a quick hug on my leg....... Now meanwhile my Mom is in the kitchen laughing away.... ( the kitchen has a view into the laundry room)

What really happened.... MR. P heard me call gave one more good yank on his sister's sweater and then headed out of the laundry room with the smile....... of course my Mom witnessed the whole scene I had only seen the seemingly angelic one stepping out smiling...... 2 days away from 17 months..... and he already has the "let's fool Mom" gene intact

then S fell and bummed her head and P was right there hugging on her about 10 minutes later. crazy stuff ! speaking of which the house is eerily calm suddenly which means the dynamic duo has joined forces to thwart my best cleaning efforts I have to run......quickly......

Google alert.....

U.S. Air Force photo by Staff Sgt. Samuel Bendet

I love Google alert because you can put in something you want and when something new is posted it e-mails you... I use it to keep track of pictures of Sam's that are posted on the web... hence this picture was posted on the web today.. I LOVE it... not just because it is my husband's it is a nice shot good colors...as always with Sam's work technically sound..... it is just cool... I however once again found it on an anti war site but I won't go there..... I am just happy to see more of Sam's work and thought I would share... I am anxious for him to come home so I can get the background story on the picture!

Down the Garden Path...

so... I am an optimist and seek optimistic avenues.. for discovering ways to publish writings.... this may seem an insurmountable task considering the odds of being published are about as good as becoming an actor :)....... well I have to say here in CA you can't help no matter how far away you live from the city be interconnected to the film industry..... in strange places I find people are connected out here... heck maybe I'll write an anthropological book on the study for the far reaching tentacles of Hollywood.... and the star fever that strikes this state..... the old line from the movie pretty woman " This is Hollywood everybody has a dream"...oddly rings true here. I have seem a very narrow glimpse of this through my friend and actor " The Chad" the hours of work angles and attempts to get ahead..... I always said I could never do it yet oddly I am finding the quest to be published as a book writer is not unlike his path and I may have to re think the whole thing. does that mean I lack conviction? no I still believe nothing is impossible and I could do it eventually but the question remains with limited time and resources should I pick my battle on another battleground for something else I may want even more.

all of this said I have to say in my craze to remain the ever diligent "control freak" that I am I googled my name I do this periodically to make sure I don't show up.... I don't want to..... I know here I am blogging my life like an open book and yet I want to remain anonymous...actually the singer from the band Maroon 5 had a press interview discussing his own feelings on this paradox...... but I digress.. and remember the great news article/blog anti war issue.... well my name comes up..... my moment of  "save me from myself " for all the world to Google for all eternity..... I think I have finally come to terms with this.... but in the whole incident the editor of the article.. who I would still like to choke....or at least stare down and tell off... well he was supposedly going to Iraq to report for the paper he is an editor for.. so me being the naughty girl I am wanted to see if he had the guts to write about Iraq....... no he hasn't thus far but someone with his same name..... has a blog and surprisingly it was full of interesting insight into how or better why not to publish...... I admit it is a mixed note somewhat realist somewhat pessimist... but interesting none the less...  although unfortunate for him he has the same name as the evil editor with no guts....... but again I digress.... so go check out the link it is actually funny and has some good insight into the publishing process.

http://blog.jtimothyking.com/2008/03/17/why-i-never-want-to-be-published#more-195

seriously... I sooo need to figure out how to turn these pictures the right way.... till then enjoy the comedy..:)

somewhere between Kirkuk and Bagdad....He is on the move

I have VERY VERY happy news !!!!!!! last night 2 am my time SAM CALLED !!!!!!!! whooo hooo ... Sam has been trying to get flights out of Kirkuk to head home early !!!!!!!! I am so excited ... Sandstorms and missions happen so he gets bumped from flights but he made the first leg of the LONNNNNNNNG  trip home !!!!! and.... while in Baghdad he is going to be awarded a Distinguished  Meritorious Service Medal !!!!!! I am so proud !!! how cool for him !!! this is one of my shorter posts..... shocking ... as I get more info I will post more !